Doctor's orders
by HoratiosBabyMama
Summary: Yuki has an appointment with a psychiatrist. Boy I feel bad for this doctor.


**Disclaimer: Nope, Nada, nien, zilch, nix, not mine but I wish I owned Ryuichi!**

**888**

"What am I doing here?" Eiri Yuki mumbled bitterly eyeing the room he was waiting in. The pale green walls were a sickening color and the tan carpet didn't match at all. The pictures of happy patients and kindly doctors did not help Yuki's mood in the least. The term 'waiting room' was perfect as Yuki had been waiting for almost an hour, 'Damn brat'

It was all Shuichi's fault he was here in the first place. The brat thought he wasn't social enough and that maybe he had some mental illness. Why did Hiro have to show him that idiotic medical magazine? Where'd he even get it in the first place?

So that's how Yuki ended up in a psychiatrist's office for his appointment. Yuki sighed.

He looked around at the other occupants; a woman was sitting in the corner muttering to herself, a man was sitting drawing pictures like a child, and the man next to Yuki was almost drooling on Yuki's shoulder. "This had better be worth my time"

"Eiri Yuki?" a receptionist called, Yuki stood and walked up to the woman's desk. "The doctor will see you now," she pointed to the door; Yuki nodded.

He opened the door and stepped in. The doctor stood from his chair and greeted Yuki warmly; Yuki scowled at him and took his seat. _Exhibits poor social skills _the doctor scribbled.

"Now Mr. Eiri, why are you here?" the doctor asked patiently

"My brat," _Blames others._

"Could you be more specific?"

"No," _Shows signs of hostility._

"Now sir, you're here for a reason. The people that care about you are worried that you don't know how to open up. You need to drop the attitude and try." Yuki smiled wickedly, but the doctor thought it was a good sign and didn't realize what torture was coming, "There now, do you think you can handle this?"

"I think I can sir." Yuki answered.

"Don't think. You must know. Now Yuki, do you believe in yourself?"

"Fully sir," Yuki said (the sir was forced)

"Good now say it,"

"I believe in myself," Yuki said sarcastically but it must be a foreign language to the doctor since he still thinks he has won.

"Very good Mr. Eiri!" the doctor beamed proudly, "Call me Mr. Eiri one more time and I will kick your ass," Yuki said looking nonchalantly around the room. The doctor paled _Displays outbursts of anger._

"I want to ask about your life, is that ok?"

"Sure doctor," Yuki said with an acidic smile.

"Now, you mentioned your…brat was it?" the doctor was very confused, "What relation is he to you?"

"My lover," the doctor spit out the water he had been drinking.

"R-right, who is this lover of yours?"

"Pick up a magazine; I'm sure we're on the front page." _Very egotistical _

"I don't read many magazines," the doctor commented.

"Shuichi Shindou," Yuki sighed exasperatedly.

"How do you and Shuichi get along?"

"He annoys the crap out of me" _Doesn't think well of others_

"Then why are you with him?"

"He won't leave me alone and for some reason I like it."

"Interesting, does Shuichi know your true feelings?"

"Nope, and he never will."

"Why's that?"

"…" Yuki glared at the now sweating doctor.

"Ok, now we're going to look at these cards and tell me what you see," the doctor stuttered. He held up a picture of a tree.

"I see a gun,"

"A gun?"

"Yes, I see a kid holding a gun." _May have suffered trauma as a child._

"And this one?" 'It's obviously a cat, you bastard'

"I see a dead vocalist,"

"How did he die?" the doctor asked nervously.

"I strangled him," Yuki answered, "Are we done yet?" _Not a very focused attention span._

"All right, tell me a recent dream you've had," the doctor asked regaining his composure.

"Ok, the brat and I were at home and all of the sudden he straddled me…" "STOP!" "Are you sure you don't you want to hear the rest?" Yuki smirked.

"That's enough for today," the doctor choked down some water.

"But I thought we were really making some progress!" Yuki exclaimed.

"You're excused Mr. Eiri," the doctor said exiting the room hurriedly.

Yuki smirked all the way home.

-A week later-

"YUKI!" Shuichi screamed as Yuki walked in the door from grocery shopping. Expecting a glomp attack he waited but found instead a menacing vocalist glaring at him with arms crossed. "What is it?" Yuki asked.

"I just got a letter from your psychiatrist," Shuichi said, "And?" the writer yawned already walking towards his study.

"_After a test and two sessions, we have found that Yuki Eiri may be mentally unstable and we recommend further sessions and a request that he stay away from his family and friends and any weapons he may encounter._

_Thank you,_

_Dr. Tai Takamura"_

"Well, I had better follow doctor's orders!" Yuki said standing in the doorway to his study.

"You are so Evil!" Shuichi pouted.

"Yes I am, now I have a deadline so stay out!"

And the door slammed in Shuichi's face.

"But, YUKI!"

"Doctor's orders!"

888

Fin!

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